Heart of the Trails

Part of my work includes helping protect sections of National Historic Trails.  Growing up, I knew the Santa Fe Trail was local to my house in Kansas City, but during my work I have discovered that many of the Historic Trails journey near KC.

On Saturday, my parents and I visited Independence, Missouri, to tour the National Frontier Trails Museum (and the Truman Presidential Library).  The museum has good features of the Santa Fe, Lewis and Clark, California, Oregon and Mormon Pioneer Trails that begin in the heart of America.

Above, my Dad and I selected items to take on our journey.  Since we selected the ingredients for sugar water, we probably would not make it very far. 

My parents seem more prepared with the gun and clothing.

To learn more about National Trails, visit http://www.pnts.org/ !

Embassy Open House Day

Once a year, the European Union Embassies hold an Open House.  This year my mother-in-law toured Europe via the streets of Massachusetts Ave, DC.

We started at the Greece Embassy.  Lots of Greek cheese, yogurt, coffee and other treats.

Latvia had wonderful traditional clothing.

Luxembourg had a modern paintings and pops of color on its ceiling.

The British Embassy was outstanding.  A giant campus with English gardens, soccer station, and more.  Right photo: Mother-in-law and I.

A lovely day around Europe in D.C.!

Al

It's always a good day at work when it involves taking my Minnesota parents-in-law to meet Senator Al Franken.

"Unnecessary" Quotes

 

Enjoying blog of Unnecessary Quotations.  Thanks to my Ohio family for showing me this one. 

 More "fun examples" at this link.

Pineapples Don't Have Sleeves

Have you heard about the "Pineapple and the Hare?"  It is a terrible story.

The worst part is that many middle school children read this story as part of a standardized test. See if you can answer the questions below the story.  I warn you that this story stumped Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings. 

In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.
The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." The pineapple could speak English too.

"I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.

The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.

Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.

"AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!" exclaimed the crow.
The moose spoke up.

"Pineapples don't have sleeves."

"You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we're cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let's sink the pineapple's intentions, and let's cheer for the stupid fruit!" the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, "FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!"

A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...

It sat there.

The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race — but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!

About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.

The animals ate the pineapple.

And the two questions:

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

The story makes no sense.  Media outlets have highly publicized this fact, but I thought I would post about it, too, just in gladness that I am no longer in charge of helping middle school children with tests.  Here's Ken Jennings' response.

The best part is that there is now a "Pineapples Don't Have Sleeves" T-shirt and Facebook page. 

So Sorry, President Garfield

I will remember April 2012 as the month where I spent a part of most days totally sad that President Garfield died in 1881. 

Even though I learned in Sarah Vowell's Assassination Vacation about how crazy-person Charles Guiteau cut short Garfield's life via bullet, I did not develop a pain in my gut about the tragedy of his death until I read Candice Millard's Destiny of the Republic.

I became interested when I heard my Mom and brother bragging about the awesome-ness of President Garfield, which I found a somewhat strange trend.   They recommended reading Destiny of the Republic, and once I did I joined them as an outspoken fan, having urgent office hallway and dinner table interjections such as:

• "James Garfield did not have SHOES until he was FOUR! He grew up without money, with a single Mom and then became President!"

• "And he did not even RUN for President!  His party nominated him without his permission.

• American Doctors did not believe in GERMS and this is why he died! 

Candice Millard writes a compelling and suspenseful story of the inspiring and intellectual James Garfield, a man of integrity who rose to power but tragically died 200 days into office.

My mom would want me to add that the author is from Kansas City. There's nothing like a good story, especially one that's true, even if it makes you sad all month.  I miss you, President Garfield!